After literally minutes of work, I’m proud to announce the release of StudioExec-GPT 3000.
This revolutionary product can perform every major function of a movie or television executive, at a fraction of the cost. Keep reading to hear about special discounts for members of the Hollywood Writer’s Guild and their agents.
This product autonomously performs all the most-requested features of studio execs:
- Advanced risk-avoidance algorithms
- Sequel-powered database
- Micromanagement module, with 143 separate user controls
- Script-meddler ™ insistence function, with an advanced random idea generator and creative freedom filter
- “Understanding your audience” and “accepting feedback” modules not yet available
In local testing, this AI model was able to demand additional commercial appeal for three separate beloved project reboots in less than 42 milliseconds, a new record.
“We’ve long faced pressure from execs–on top of low wages, crummy benefits, and no job security–of being replaced by soulless machines which lack creativity,” said one writer who wished to remain anonymous. “But finally there’s an effective use for the technology that matches its capabilities.”
This satire 100% human-written.